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Archive for the category “Don’t compare yourself to others”

Daily Ground – – – January 30

Look for common ground; relate, don’t compare.

Terminal uniqueness is awful.  It causes such loneliness. When I have thoughts of not being enough – not feminine enough, or masculine enough, or young enough, or old enough, or not a good enough employee, or spouse or friend, or mother, I will ask God to remind me that most human beings have these same thoughts.  I will remember that I am enough. My thoughts don’t define me.

If I can’t remember that I am enough, I will listen to my trusted, spiritual friends to hear the truth about me. I am loved, I am enough. I am similar to most other human beings in my doubting. Some days it’s best to listen to friends.

You are loved, you are enough, you are similar to most other human beings in your doubting.



January 2nd. . .

“Hope and fear come from feeling that we lack something; they come from a sense of poverty. We can’t simply relax with ourselves. We hold on to hope, and hope robs us of the present moment. We feel that someone else knows what is going on, but that there is something missing in us, and therefore something is lacking in our world.”
― Pema ChödrönWhen Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

I sit with patients in my office who often think there is a rule book to life and they don’t have access to it like everyone else does.  It seems natural to walk around comparing our insides with everyone else’s outside. “They have it all together! Why can’t I get it together!?” Freedom from suffering like this comes from simply sitting with what you do or don’t have. Mostly we are taken care of – it’s just our mind that causes the discomfort. Sitting with the feelings,  accepting what is right in front of you, and creating space from the feelings in order to get perspective will bring you some freedom from the fear and anxiety of not being/having enough.

When faced with this suggestion, patients will almost always go to the default of, “What will so and so think if I do this or don’t do that?” And there lies problem.  Why live your life based on what others think of you? Sit with yourself. Lean into your own heart. Do or don’t do according to what your heart needs. Let go.


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