Daily Ground – – -January 20
“We love the things we love for what they are.”
― Robert Frost
Do we? Do we love the things we love for what they are? Or do we mostly want to change the things we love so they are easier to love. Now that I am old enough to have been in many significant long lasting relationships, I realize how truly difficult this is. Most people I encounter complain about people they love. What are they complaining about? That the person they love isn’t more like them!
I’m certainly not innocent in this. The times I’m worried or upset about my love relationships are usually because the person isn’t acting or believing the same way that I act and believe. So essentially – I really only want to love myself! Isn’t this why love is so difficult? We are loving another human being with strengths and growing edges that are different from our own.
Loving someone means not demanding they be like me. When I try to shape my child, spouse, partner, or friend to be like me, I am only loving a mirror of myself. Being called to love difference is more difficult, and more rewarding.