Daily Ground – – – January 11th
You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf. – – -Unknown
What are you afraid of? Starting a new job, sending your child to a sleepover, going back to school at 40, the economy? Fears are like waves in the ocean, there is no use in fighting them, just ride the surf. Unfortunately the older we get,the more mucked up our minds get, and sometimes we can’t even admit that it is fear we are feeling.
Here’s the thing: fear is in your mind. It usually has nothing to do with what is going on right in front of you. It has to do with a past event that gets triggered or a succession of worries about the future. Your mind really is out to get you.
My sister had leukemia for 10 months, and I was her caretaker. At the time of her illness I had a very flexible job, and I was able to be there often. As she was in remission, I was offered a new job. The worry was maddening. I worried she would get sick again, and that I wouldn’t be able to care for her, and that I would lose my job, and that my family would suffer. My. Mind. Would. Not. Stop.
I was starting the new position in June. My sister died the April before I began. All that worrying was for naught. The outcome was devastating, but the lesson was not lost. Do I really think I have control over events – over sickness and health – over life and death? All of that agonizing worrying about a job choice was centered in my mind. I wasn’t riding the waves of life. I was fighting them, drowning, and missing the moments right in front of me.
I can still get caught in worry mind, but I usually get out of it before I sink. I lean into the waves instead of fighting. The thinking is always, always, always worse than the actual doing.