Daily Ground – – -January 10th
Love is not liking somebody. Anyone can do that. Love is loving things that sometimes you don’t like. – – -Ajahn Brahm
Being married over 20 years does not guarantee comfort. My spouse and I have been through the proverbial “think and thin,” and yet we still bump up against those things that cause us to avoid each other, eye contact and certain subjects. Communication is difficult. Coming to the table to actually talk about things that hurt, or are shameful – things we want to keep to ourselves and control – is difficult.
How does one stay married like this? Faith! Hope! Love! Actually it’s having a sense of humor, laughing at ourselves and others, and continuing on a spiritual path (not always the same one). We continue to get angry and disappointed, but we don’t lose sight that we also continue to be delighted and joyful. When single people get uncomfortable – they want to be hooked up, and when couples get uncomfortable, they fantasize about being alone. All of us want to run from being uncomfortable.
People sometimes say, “You two have the perfect marriage.” And, maybe we do. Perfect in all of its imperfections. Relationships are difficult – long term relationships come with aging and change. It doesn’t have to be your significant other – maybe its a trusted friend – but when the going gets tough or uncomfortable – do something really crazy – don’t run – sit still – and talk – real, intimate talk.